Non-Profit Dog Years
A joke of mine that has killed for half a decade or more is my “Non-Profit Dog Years” bit.
I simply cannot resist dragging that baby out when someone says “wow you’ve only been here for x amount of time?” I chuckle and go “well you know what I always say…nonprofits work in dog years one year feels like seven.” And we all laugh.
I would like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor and I can read a room, both skills that make a good fundraiser. But why does the “Non-Profit Dog Years” gag hit so hard?
My theory is because Development work (and nonprofit employment generally) is so fluid. In the six months I have been at my latest job I have produced a 300 person gala, project managed a government grant, nearly finished the relaunch of a major donor program, drafted a 12 month communications plan AND successfully pitched another event for November (only 100 people this time).
I hope I don’t come off as a delusional workaholic or like I am bragging, that’s just how the job went. I didn’t love every day, but I felt fulfilled and I certainly wasn’t bored. For someone that may seem like an overstretched nightmare, but for others…we need that.
There a few key aspects of Development work that accelerate the experience up to a 7:1 model.
For one, fundraising teams will always have a close relationship with leadership. The whole team is working with C-Suite level leaders to keep the operation going. Prepping the CEO for big asks and meetings, often times cash reports and forecasts will be submitted directly to the CFO, etc. We are working with program leadership to make sure everyone is on the same page and we’re actually, ya know, speaking to the work. Development is also deeply connected to Marketing/Communications (whether we like it or not) and if your place has Advocacy/External Relations, chances are we wedge our way in there too. Because Development is so involved with all facets of the work of a nonprofit, our experience in any given place is in hyperdrive.
Development is also very collaborative within the team. Just because you’re on Individual Giving doesn’t mean your siloed from Corporate Relations. In fact, you’re probably trading names and checking connections regularly. Chances are a grant writer will eventually be looped into the gala, if only for check-in/seat filling. This unique camaraderie across a department accelerates the Dog Years. Once again, not for everyone. I know many people who delight in seeing how long they can go without a department meeting. But that’s just not the culture of nonprofits and definitely not Development.
Now, let’s all say it together “One of the purposes of this blog is to dissect the issues of toxic nonprofit culture” BUT I do not consider the above examples of that. In fact, it’s one of the things I love the most about the sector. The collaboration and creativity keeps me coming back. I think I would be miserable without them.
Since 2013 I have had so many interesting, exciting, empowering experiences in Development. Were some of them above my pay grade? All the time. But I was gathering a wealth of professional experiences. These allowed me to jump titles every few years until I met my goal of Director of Development by 30. And a lot of it was pretty iconic - like being hit on by celebrities (IYKYK, if you don’t…that’s going behind an eventual paywall), the unique thrill of closing a five-figure gift for the first time, finally being able to say “yeah I know how to use grants.gov” and actually mean it.
Of course, toxicity can cause Dog Year acceleration. Usually around absurd deadlines, Event Induced Psychosis (another post) and Board reports. Sometimes database issues - nothing creates dissociative time trauma like finding out there are hundreds of dupe records during a system audit. TRUST ME.
All this to say, the Nonprofit Dog Years crack works 100% of the time, every time. Either you get the joke or you don’t.
What do you think? Have you ever fallen for my Nonprofit Dog Years joke? Are you going to steal it? Do you feel like I am just using my pain for comedy and I need help? Leave it in the comments!
