I took a break (already)
I decided to take a break from the blog while everyone else was off – the last couple weeks of August.
At work, I took off the Thursday and Friday before Labor Day which I haven’t done in years. When I was younger, I took MORE time off. The narrative is often the inverse, work through your 20s, stop feeling guilty in your 30s+. But in my 20s I was a sweet, idealistic progressive who believed I deserved my time and would take 7-10 day trips nearly every August around Labor Day. This included an iconic road trip from NJ to CO (with a pitstop in NC lol) in 2014 and ANOTHER epic road trip from CO – CA in 2017. There was also an early summer trip to Yellowstone thrown in at some point, just to show you how seriously I was taking my vacation time back then.
A decade into my career, I never take time off. In the last few months, I have been making more of an effort. I traveled to Minneapolis this summer for my godson’s christening and opted to spend an extra day exploring the city. This weekend I am going to Virginia for a wine weekend. And I just booked a birthday trip to New Orleans in November! Now, as much as I would like to tell you about the awesome points alchemy I worked to afford these trips, let’s get into the week’s topic.
One of the purposes of this blog is to dissect the issues of toxic nonprofit culture – which includes an “always working” attitude. It is a problem large enough to be an entire series rather than a post but we will start here in the afterglow of Labor Day. I have turned into the employee I swore I would never become - the one who can’t let go and take off - who would feel guilty if my PTO resulted in a missed opportunity - who spirals that their absence alone will cost a once in a lifetime connection. The kicker is, I know these scenarios would never be the case. It is not a problem unique to nonprofit, many of our sector’s problems aren’t. They are, however, amplified by the nature of the work outside a traditional corporate structure. If something goes wrong, it is not pissing off shareholders, it is impacting the mission work. Or so, it feels.
As I stay year after year in my career, I become painfully aware of the mental fortitude you need to keep your focus clear, to continuously swing back at the bad scenarios and guard against guilt creeping in. I said it would never happen to me until it did.
Where does the “I need to be there” mentality come from? Ideally, you can use your paid leave and know your staff will have your back. You are walking away with a nice strong net. You know the quality of this net because it’s the people you trust every day when you are in the office. But then the anxiety starts “they might be soooo busy when I’m gone they missed it.” “They might forget!” and you lose your footing. Then you worry you are overburdening your already hardworking co-workers. They will be up all night because you deigned to take 4 days off (see how silly it sounds when you read it here?). Before you can press “submit” on your HR portal you are already stuck in a bad cycle, unable to embrace the team you have and centering yourself as the problem.
And what if you are a team of one? Well, that’s another post (hehe). If you are either one person running an entire small nonprofit or the only Development person, you need to step back and embrace the hard truth of it. YOU CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH. If you don’t acknowledge that you will burn out and the quality of the work you are so desperately holding on to will melt away.
That can be hard to admit, especially when you are in the thick of it. I have been there. Not only the sole Development person for a small organization, but the first one in the position! I was alone and creating my own metrics for success. Nothing forced me to reckon with my own limits like that job, which I loved, did. Too bad the reckoning is happening now and not the years I worked there. It was around then I stopped taking time off. Looking back, I mourn the trips I missed, the seasons I could have spent in different climates, the rest I surrendered.
What if your team is a mess, you have no support, you’re turning the lights on every day? In that case we are back to The Big Picture Discussion, the You’re Only One Person Discussion, the This is Not Normal Discussion. If you truly feel like your hands are tied, your time is not your own, you need to focus on getting that back which is 🥁another post🥁.
This week is my official announcement - I am re-framing. Taking my time. Trusting the team I am grateful to have. Acknowledging that you cannot succeed in fundraising chasing every last penny, constantly “on”. What makes a good fundraiser is strategy, identifying value, forecasting, trends, instincts. It is not sacrifice and it is not ignoring your lawfully protected rights.
Let’s carry the spirit of Labor Day forward. And not apologize for taking a break. ✨🌙✨
